"Back to the starting point".. whether this can be achieve, this already doesn't matter. Because in realistic, this already become an unachievable point. The point is yet so near far far away from me... Human unable to accept the truth, they like to avoid and run away from the truth. Truth really is that hard to live with, I really don't understand. Before that, i believe in happiness. But just that, truth always must come to disturb my happiness, take away what i believe in? now left only sadness and darkness. I always tell myself, you can get through this, you must get through this. This is just part of the life, not only you suffering, outside might be alot of others also suffering the same. But human heart is so weak, sometimes weak sometimes tough, the brain and the heart always want to control what we are thinking, really hard to decide. why is this happening to me? this is always the question i been asking myself for the past few months. Is the god giving...